Living in a material world, and I am a material girl. Or boy.

Glad that ethics reform legislation that Obama ran on worked so well.

And I'll be needing you all as character witnesses...

Hey everyone, I don’t often do this but I’d like to use this space today to promote an organization that is very important to our community – the National Organization of Women or something like that. NOW. Yeah, them.

Yeah I really care about the work they’re doing. It’s very important. And this message is only because of that fact and has nothing, I repeat nothing, to do with any pending law suits. Not that one where I slapped the flight attendant’s butt either - allegedly, of course! It’s just because I think NOW is so great. In fact, you should all donate to them – I just dropped $150 on my owner’s credit card to them – so that they can keep doing all the neato stuff they’re probably doing like making cook books and knitting sweaters.

I would go so far as to say that I find NOW to be inspirational. In fact, I'm so inspired that when my owner get's home tonight, I'm going to tell her to bake me some cookies - NOW!

Obama's dog

Apparently Barack Obama believes that one of the most "pressing issues" for his family is the choice of what type of dog to bring into the White House. First, let me say I say for the record I oppose his position in support of dogs to begin with. Most are dumb and indiscriminate in their affections just like democrats. However, I decided to do my part to "support" our new President-Elect by conducting a comprehensive search for the perfect dog to fit the Obama White House. Below are my observations:

1. The "Saluki", hails from the Arabian desert:



Nah, too obvious.....

2. Poodle hailing from France:



Probably a better fit for John Kerry. Interests include: wind surfing, the New York Times cross word puzzles, and wine tasting.

3. Malamute, hailing from Alaska:



Everyone knows Alaskan dogs are republicans. They believe in small government, lower taxes, gun ownership, and preemptive war. They also love American flag pins. Not a good a fit.

4. American Labrador hailing from America:



"Cute" by typical dog standards (I think he has a fat head if you ask me), safe, a true American who IS "proud of his country". Politically neutral because they are too stupid to pay attention, loved by both republicans and democrats, bi-partisan. I think we have a winner.

The Verdict:

So Mr. President-Elect Obama, I recommend an American lab puppy from a shelter. Make sure he has a good sob story. His name should end in 'y' just to make it cuter. And he should wear a bandanna at all times. These dogs get kind of fat and slow as they age so you may need to replace him with a new puppy every couple of years. In short, nothing says, "I love America and am NOT an undercover commie socialist wealth re-distributor" more than an all American puppy taking a crap on the White House lawn.

Hope for a new generation...of commies!

Today is quite a day for America - one I'd never thought I'd see. I've got to say that I'm probably more inspired than I ever have been. It shows the American spirit of acceptance and tolerance. Everyone will look back at November 4, 2008 and say "That's the day America elected its first commie president."

Endorsement time

Well, it's finally here. Election day. And now the time that you've all been waiting for - time for the endorsement of the most prestigious, award winning kitty pundit. Me. I know what you're thinking, certainly waiting until the last minute for this, but I wanted to wait until I had all of the facts (bids) in. So without further ado, I'm endorsing Cynthia McKinney for president. Yeah, so says that George W. Bush was in on 9/11, that the government executed 5,000 prisoners during Hurricane Katrina, is running as something called the green party, and hit a cop, but she was the highest bidder - 19 treats. And I want the good stuff. So yeah.

Vote for Cynthia McKinney for president.

An inspirational video to remind you of the importance of voting

Family Values

So we just learned today some SHOCKING news. Apparently, Barack Obama's Kenyan aunt is both an illegal immigrant and living in squalor on the south side of Boston. Obama's campaign spokesman released a statement:

"Senator Obama has no knowledge of her status but obviously believes that any and all appropriate laws be followed."

In other words, deport the bum. Finally, a position I can agree with!

Maybe he's got a black janitor...

So Powell endorsed Obama because of the "inclusive nature of his campaign"?

Let's take a quick look at Obama's campaign staff:
David Axelrod: rich white guy, consultant for crooked mayor Daley
David Plouffe: rich white guy, Washington insider
Steve Hildebrand: rich white guy
Betsy Meyers: rich white broad, Clinton crony
Robert Gibbs: rich white guy
Penny Pritzker: super-rich white broad, really rich, loaded

Woah, groundbreaking! How transformational! What an inclusive campaign! Where'd they find such normal, down to earth people? I've never heard of a campaign led by people with such diverse backgrounds!

Well, and neither wear flag shorts...

Roland Martin says:

Muhammad Ali was not only a great boxer, but an awesome tactician.

Remember the fight against George Foreman in Zaire? My man damn near went to sleep on the ropes as Foreman flailed away, using his energy to pound away at Ali. And at the right time, the Greatest of All Time started blasting away, eventually knocking Foreman out.

That's exactly what Sen. Barack Obama is doing to Sen. John McCain.

I say the only thing Barack Obama and Muhammad Ali have in common is they're both Muslim.

The correct answer was "A commie"

This one was me too:

In Albuquerque, New Mexico, John McCain pushed his campaign’s most recent line of attack against Obama: that the Democratic nominee represents a relatively unknown risk. “All people want to know is: What has this man ever actually accomplished in government? What does he plan for America? In short: Who is the real Barack Obama?” Someone in the crowd responded by yelling: “Terrorist!”

See, I thought that was the answer to a question. That if I got the question right, I'd get a treat. Oops.

Just be glad I didn't put Hussein too...

Uh, yeah. That was me. I was a little wasted when the proofs went out. My bad.

A Message from Congressman Antonio

Well, right now we're looking into the best package for this financial crisis, really burning the midnight oil. Lobbyists are submitting their proposals and, well, whoever bribes me the most, that'll be the plan we go with.

Finally, some common sense!

I've been saying it for years, especially during those dumb tax cuts. The best way to help our economy isn't by lowering taxes, or giving everyone money, or any of that crap. The thing to do when your economy blows is give $700 billion to businessmen. After all, when it comes to financial decisions, who can you trust more than this guy?

Heckuvajob, Brownie

And while we're at it, let's get tomorrow's award out of the way. Can Campbell Brown possibly be more retarded? Who knows.

But for now, congratulations to Campbell Brown, the Biggest Douchebag in the World!


Campbell Brown with MSNBC.....................................................Campbell Brown with CNN
Now there's a woman who doesn't give in to sexist pressures!

If I were a political strategist...

...and I had a candidate who was an arrogant arugula eating elitist who no one particularly liked (especially outside of major cities), I would definitely have him try to call a war hero ignorant and try to smear his extremely likable counterpart. That would be genius.